


Birthdays for a Business Man

by Inkribbon796



Series: Masks and Maladies [77]
Category: Markiplier fandom - Fandom
Genre: Birthday Post, Kid!Author - Freeform, Kid!Yandereplier, M/M, Magic, Mostly Fluff, Threats of torture to an unnamed side character, developing superpowers, early onset child psychosis, it’s Author he’s a little terror and I love him, reality warping powers, superhero au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:34:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24807847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inkribbon796/pseuds/Inkribbon796
Summary: Dark has had birthdays of all sorts, sometimes he works the whole day through, other times he gets to enjoy it with his family.
Relationships: darkstache
Series: Masks and Maladies [77]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1538131
Comments: 2
Kudos: 38





	Birthdays for a Business Man

**Author's Note:**

> It’s Dark’s birthday, I was planning for angst and got fluff instead. Also Author as a child strikes me as someone who you could point at and go: “that one right there, that one’s going to be a serial killer”.

~::~ Ten Years Ago ~::~

It was cold and Dark had someone else who was disappointingly not Marc in his cellar. It was another unfortunate soul that had not only tried to steal from Dark directly, but had the gall to be annoying while he did so.

Unlike the heroes like Jackie and Silver who could get away or weather more than a single stab or slash from Dark’s aura, this man was boringly human. Dark had initially thought the man would die before he was dragged into the cellar. But he was happily surprised.

The man screamed in terror as Dark dug the knife into the arm of the chair. “You miscalculated,” Dark smiled, practically tasting the fear in the air. It was sweeter than any saccharine treat or wine. “You assumed I would give mercy. That you could run from me.”

“Please, I’ll do anything,” the man begged. “I just need more time.”

“You had your time,” Dark sneered, holding his face so that his nails were cutting into the soft, human flesh of his chin and cheeks. In the distant background he could hear arguing upstairs but he trusted Wil to handle it until he was done. “I hate chasing my prey, and you are wasting time I could be using on other ventures.”

The stairs at the top of the cellar creaked.

“Daddy!”

The man’s head turned to the cellar stairs, confusion breaking through his pain and fear a bit.

Dark internally cursed and slapped the man to at least save some of his intimidating appearance. Even if it would have been more than a fleeting laugh to make the man think he had a chance, allowing his newest target to live was officially off the table.

The Entity turned to see one of the children he and Wil had adopted running down the winding staircase. Yan was full on sobbing as she ran down the stairs, she almost tripped but Dark’s aura caught her.

“What have I told you,” Dark growled. However, when Yan stopped, she was staring up at him with large dark brown eyes, Dark sighed. “What happened?”

She let out a loud, distressed sob and started pulling at something stuck and twisted into her hair. Clearly whatever was in her hand disgusted her. Yan was clearly upset and frustrated.

“Here,” Dark offered, pulling her hand away and Yan immediately shook out her hand, stomping her feet a bit. Immediately Dark noticed there was a sizable piece of chewed gum waded and it was almost fused with her dark, wavy hair. “Who did this?”

“Artie put gum in my hair,” Yan sobbed loudly. “And I didn’t do anything to him.”

“She’s a fucking liar!” Arthur spat as he stomped down the stairs. “She stomped all over my notebook with her muddy feet.”

Dark groaned, “Somehow, Arthur, I _doubt_ it.”

The Entity grabbed the two children with his aura and pulled them back up the stairs. The instant he was at the top of the stairs he looked around. “Wil! If I don’t see you here, posthaste I will burn your bow ties!”

Wilford was running in as if Dark had already set the man on fire. “What happened?”

Dark just stared at the sizable glob of gum in Yan’s hair.

“Oh,” Wil commented, he held his arms out. “Come here, princess, I know just the thing to get that out.”

“Never give the children gum unless I’m there to supervise them,” Dark ordered, keeping Arthur close to him as he passed the still hiccup-sobbing Yan over. It was just to keep the two of them separated. “Obviously they can’t be trusted with it.”

“I didn’t give them gum today,” Wil frowned, his mustache twitching a bit. “Did I?” 

Before Dark could reprimand him, Wil was talking with Yan as he headed to the pantry and promised to make her hair as good as new. He grabbed a jar of peanut butter and headed towards the upstairs bathroom.

Arthur was looking away angrily, gripping his arm tightly, clearly angry.

Dark took a deep breath, “Show me your notebook, where is it?”

“It’s mine,” the young author spat angrily.

“Yes, I know, show me the notebook,” Dark responded firmly.

Arthur glared at him, his face scrunching up angrily, before stomping into the main living room and picking up his red notebook, but protectively cradling it to his chest.

Dark knelt down and silently held out his hand, quietly waiting for Arthur to surrender the little spiral bound.

Arthur shifted on his feet, looking away, “I want it back.”

“Wouldn’t dream of anything else,” Dark told him, his tone still firm.

Holding it out, Arthur stayed close as Dark flipped through the book. He didn’t concentrate on what Arthur had been writing. The boy treated his notebooks like a creative project sometimes, and a private diary other times. Dark wasn’t about to invade the boy’s privacy to settle the dispute. He’d come to Dark when he trusted him.

Quickly flipping through the book, Dark saw that there was half a muddy footprint on the corner, hardly the malicious footprints that Arthur had claimed. But on the edge of a page, in Arthur’s messy scrawl was the phrase: _“Yan has gum in her hair”_.

Dark looked at those words, “Huh.”

Glancing back at Arthur he asked, “Who gave you the gum? I know you didn’t chew it yourself.”

“I don’t know,” Arthur shrugged. “It just showed up.”

“You made gum appear in your sister’s hair?” Dark asked.

“Yes?” Arthur answered.

“Show me,” Dark ordered, holding the notebook out. “Put gum in my hair.”

“What?” Arthur looked confused, and a touch of fear.

“I can’t have you stick anything in your siblings’ hair, so this will have to do,” Dark told him and summoned a pen. “If you want we can try with something other than your notebook if you don’t want to use it.”

Arthur took the pen and on the back of the front cover Arthur scribbled down: _“Dark has gum in his hair”_.

At first Dark didn’t feel anything, but after a second or two he felt something faint tangle with his own aura, brushing the top of his head. Dark fought all reflexes to bat at it. He reached up and sure enough there was a mass of chewed gum in his hair. Arthur was staring at him with a bit of nervousness.

What Dark did do was reach out and tangle his aura with the new faint aura, trying to manifest it but it wasn’t strong enough. Arthur startled a bit, trying to look around to find something. Dark chuckled and let it go, his aura began to smooth into his hair to carefully pull the gum from his hair and dump it into the nearest trash can.

“Come with me,” Dark led Arthur to the counter and grabbed a set of post-it notes. He also grabbed one a strawberry ice cream popsicle out of the fridge and set Arthur on top of the counter. He held out the popsicle, which was quickly accepted.

Dark slid the post-it notes over, smiling, “give my suit polka dots.”

“Why?” Arthur asked, popping the popsicle out of his mouth.

“Because I need to know if it’s the notebook or you,” Dark told him.

After a bit of fumbling with the popsicle, Arthur wrote: _“Dark has a pink and green polka dot suit”_.

“Really?” Dark grumbled as his suit changed, a half-second faster than the last time. Dark felt that weak aura gripping around him like thousands of tiny hands. “Those colors.”

“What’s wrong with them?” Arthur asked, a bit of his attitude starting to come back.

“Look at them,” Dark motioned to his suit as his aura was starting to strip the colors from it, leaving the polka dots and the pink’s lighter hue was still visible. “Try and turn it back.”

Arthur frowned but wrote: _“Dark has a black suit again”_.

Dark’s suit began to lose the polka dots, and Dark resisted the urge to mention the fact that his suit had actually been a dark blue. But it was the thought that counted.

“Magnificent,” Dark commented, Arthur seemed to stiffen a bit with the sudden and honest praise. “How long have you been able to do this? It’s incredible, do you know if any of the others can do things like this?”

“No.” Arthur’s answer was too quick, clearly desperate to keep being the center of positive attention.

“Right,” Dark smiled, his attention going back to the stairs. “Would you appreciate a little practice?”

Arthur’s eyes widened, “Can I turn Illy’s tongue into a slug?”

Dark’s twin souls started screaming in alarm.

“Arthur,” Dark used his aura to force the boy to look into his eyes. “You will not use this on your siblings _ever_ , do you understand?”

“Come on,” Arthur huffed. “He deserves it.”

“No, I’m serious,” Dark demanded firmly. “I don’t care if you alter all of Egoton, but you will not use this on any of your siblings or Wil. Do I make myself clear?”

Arthur scowled, “Fine.”

“Good,” Dark smiled. “I’ll be checking on them. But for now would you like to use those wonderful powers of yours in a constructive manner?”

The Entity gestured to the basement stairwell.

“But only you and Dad are allowed in the basement?” Arthur reminded.

Dark rolled his eyes, “You and I both know that _no one_ follows that rule.”

“Really?” Arthur squirmed a bit in excitement.

“Your power is a gift, and you need to cultivate it to the fullest,” Dark smiled, taking him off the counter.

“Can I hurt him?” Arthur asked inquisitively.

Something in the depths of his twin souls roiled in uncomfortable concern at that question, but Dark didn’t dared show it on his face. “Just don’t involve your siblings.”

“Can we go?” Arthur began jumping in place.

“Yes we can, my little _author_ ,” Dark smiled, Arthur taking Dark’s hand and pulling him towards the stairs.

~::~ Present Day ~::~

Dark sighed as he walked into his office, Wilford following him and talking. Dark had a new coffee mug in his hands he’d been given from Yan for his birthday. The mug read, _‘Boss Bitch’_ , in huge red letters with a crown over the top. Illinois had given him a neatly arranged box of cursed jewelry from a recent expedition, and Bim had given Dark a new black suit. Then Wilford had literally pushed Bim into giving Dark a hug that both of them thought wasn’t genuine, and was uncomfortable at best.

“It’s your birthday, old chap,” Wilford reminded. “Don’t you think you should spend it somewhere other than this drab and depressing place.”

“I have a lot of work to do,” Dark reminded, “tonight my schedule is clear.”

“Crummy way to spend your birthday,” Wil pouted.

Dark noticed the three boxes on his desk. He hadn’t noticed them when he walked in initially. One was like an envelope made of newspaper, Yancy’s obviously. Another was a deep red with golden trim on it with white and yellow trimmed ribbons, and a third made from parchment paper that had what looked like a short handwritten story on it. Dark could barely recognize Arthur’s messy scrawl. It had turned from Arthur’s previously nigh-illegible scrawl to a flowing cursive script that was still a bit hard for most people to read.

And Dark was going to have to learn how to read it all over again.

“Oooh~” Wil leaned his head over Dark’s shoulder. “Do you have an admirer?”

“It’s from the boys,” Dark answered, carefully unwrapping the box so he didn’t rip the paper. Inside a plain brown box was a small black ledger, an exact duplicate to the one he already had, a folded note resting on it.

“Oh, how nice of them,” Wilford smiled. “Good timing too, your old one is looking a little full up.”

Dark skimmed over the note, reading:

_For the man who has everything,_

_Try to catch your blood on these pages instead of the original._

_He who sees, but is blind_

“What a nice note,” Wil smiled, resting his cheek on Dark. “Who wrote it?”

Dark pocketed the note, “Arthur, you remember him, he liked to write.”

Recognition bubbled up in Wil’s mind, “He was a fun boy, is he done with that mission?”

“Nearly, he’ll be home soon,” Dark promised, stepping away from Wil to sit at his desk. “Hopefully sooner than scheduled.”

“Excellent,” Wilford clapped. “Once you finish opening your gifts we should go for a drive, haven’t gone on one of those in ages.”

Dark just stared at him, in his head he could remember _“ages ago”_ — last month — when he’d been in a car with Wil that quickly turned into a car chase where Dark had been gripping onto the hanger attached to the car door. “Maybe, that depends.”

“On?” Wil wiggled his eyebrows and mustache. “I can be persuasive.”

“Give me three hours and my day is all yours,” Dark smiled, turning his chair towards his desk. “That will let me get some work done.”

“How about,” Wil turned Dark’s chair back around to face him, “we make a little deal?”

Dark rested his chin on his hands, “Really?”

“What type of person would I be if I didn’t get you your birthday present?” Wilford winked, grabbing Dark’s tie and leaning down for the kiss. One of many Dark would receive that day.

**Author's Note:**

> The gifts in order were from Yancy, King, and Host.


End file.
